Anonymous said: What is the hardest part of letting go
This has been sitting in my inbox for a while because I haven’t had an answer.
I think I’ve realized that letting go is so hard because, even though the initial heartbreak has long ago healed, I’ve still remained torn. Sometimes I want to think that he is happy, prosperous, and madly in love. Other times I hope that he can’t breathe at night because the weight if my memory is so heavy on his chest.
If I touched you now,
I know it would feel different.
The fire’s gone out,
and you’d feel it in my fingertips.
There’s ice in my veins
and I don’t have the strength
to keep loving you anymore.
You’d know that from my touch;
you’d feel it in your core.
I am so thankful that my life doesn’t always turn out the way I want it to, because I am a part of so many wonderful things that would have never manifested had everything gone according to plan. I’ve fallen off of pedestals that I painstakingly planned and meticulously built, but, as a result, I’ve fallen into unexpected blessings, some of which are now my greatest sources of joy.>
He loves me, but that’s not what matters. What matters is that he chose me - that he continues to choose me - that I am boldly printed on his list of priorities. I’ve had men love me before, and they loved me deeply. They drowned me in sweet words and thought of me all the time. They were weak for me. But, for them, other aspects of life got in the way and, thus, they wouldn’t or couldn’t do anything significant about that love. It doesn’t matter if a man loves you, I’ve decided; what matters is if he makes the choice to do anything about it. If he’s doing nothing, what’s the difference if he’s laying in bed at night, heartbroken and dreaming? If he chooses something else over you, for whatever reason, what good is the mere fact that he loves you? Girls, choose someone who chooses you. Wake up, and make that choice every day. Surround yourself by temptation to pursue other things, but still boldly make the same choice. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal until they do they same. And, when you find that person, don’t value them for their ability to love you (you’re naturally lovable, and beautiful, and, anyway, love is a pleasant emotion, so it comes easily), but value them for their conscious decision to faithfully act on that love.>