Don’t bother coming home,
by the time you get here,
I’ll be long gone.
I wanted so badly
to sit next to you on the plane,
to hold your hand during take off,
to kiss you in every city.
I wanted so badly
to forget where we came from,
to lose sight of where we were going,
to get caught up in a foreign moment.
I wanted so badly
to travel the world with you,
to find ourselves,
to find the pair that we were supposed to be.
White knuckles gripping a cold railing, I stood on top of the Empire State Building trying to count the lights below. And a year later, I leaned far over the edge of the Eiffel Tower to do the same in Paris, France. With tears in my eyes, I watched the sun rise over the Nile River; with anticipation in my stomach, I watched celebratory fireworks illuminate the skies of Berlin. I’ve tasted the salty Alps and the bubbly French champagne. I’ve laid on the grass under the Northern lights; I’ve climbed to the roof to watch meteorites shower the earth. In my lifetime, I’ve celebrated a millennium. I’ve witnessed a super moon; I’ve seen several planets, bright in the sky. I felt the most alive in these moments of wonder and awe. I replay them all, again and again. I constantly crave that sense of peace.
Still, nothing compares to the way you smile between kisses. Nothing is more beautiful than the sound of your heartbeat, when I’m curled up next to you and my head’s on your chest. And there are absolutely no words for the way I feel when you’re holding my hand. I have dreams of soaking up the whole world, but the world doesn’t matter when I’m close to you.
Jealousy is a rabid disease in which you count someone else’s blessings instead of your own. It makes you crave the things that are not right for you; it makes you overlook the things that are. Instead of envy, as yourself this: “What do I have that someone else wants?”
I could never love again so much as I love you.
